West High School
"Truth isn't always what I see immediately—real understanding begins when we stop judging and start listening."
The overwhelming consensus from our One Table Together event is that while diversity is a fact, inclusion is a choice. Students walked away with a powerful realization: discrimination often thrives not from open hatred, but from the “comfortable silence” of staying within our own circles.
Student Feedback and Comments
By engaging in structured vulnerability—the simple yet brave act of sharing personal stories and listening without judgment—we discovered that our differences are often just “different fonts” of the same human experience.
Moving forward, our community is committed to shifting from curious bystanders to active upstanders. Whether it’s through “calling out” a harmful joke, inviting someone new to the lunch table, or simply being the first to say “hello” in the hallway, we’ve learned that the strongest bridges are built one conversation at a time.
Pre Dinner Survey
How can you show respect to someone who has a different opinion than you?
Students emphasize active, non-judgmental listening and validating others’ perspectives, even when they disagree. They suggest maintaining respect by asking curious questions, staying calm, and knowing when to “agree to disagree” rather than attacking or judging.
- I can show respect by acknowledging their opinion and choosing not to comment
- Just give them their time to shine not everyone was to agree with each other
- Yes I help them
- By listening to their perspectives
- By not putting their opinions down
- Understanding every side and listening to their perspective
- By listening to their opinions
- Not be judge about it
- By actively listening and asking non-argumentative questions to understand their point of view
- Simply acknowledging their perspective/opinion while using respectful language in response
- Often it’s as simple as saying I beg to differ but I see where you’re coming from and I validate that
- Agree to disagree
- Don’t say their opinion is wrong
- I just say the phrase to each their own
- By not fighting while sharing your opinion
- See it the way they do and ask about it
- I think by showing formality to someone who has a different opinion then you is a sign of respect
- I listen to what they are saying
- Tell them I’m right
- Prove your opinion is right
- Never talk badly to someone listen there different point of view
- Telling them you value them as a person but you have different views
- The way to show respect is by not choosing to argue and have a calm conversation just by doing that it’s respectful also refiring to them how they wish people aren’t going to have the same opinion is ok
- Yes we can have a different opinion
- Listen respectfully allow space for conversation and understanding
- Express your understanding for their viewpoint and express understanding and respect
- If you have nothing nice to say then just don’t say it also be open to listening to other peoples thoughts
- It really depends on the opinion if it is something subversive like movies, music or activities then it is time to each their own but if it is something that affects someone else or me religion identity respect them
- Acknowledge their opinion and how I disagree with it but fine the respect in then for sharing Basic respect
- Listen to them find a point you can agree on and being calm and give attention
- Being very attentive and not clapping back
- Resect their opinion
- Know when is an appropriate time for debate or when to drop it
- By trying to understand their opinion
- I can show respect by acknowledging their opinion and making sure I don’t offend
- I’m a people pleaser and I like talking without consequences
- Letting them talk about their side
- I can listen to their opinion and see if there’s something we can agree on
- Staying silent when others are speaking their thoughts and not harassing them for doing so
- Hear them out and disagree respectively
- Saying how you understand some parts but you also think some parts are different
- You can discuss your opinions and validate them
- I can listen carefully
- By maintaining respectful conversational norms
- Be open minded and let them share what they think and be respectful
- Listening and knowing where their point is coming from and accepting that are all have different opinions
- By understanding everyone can make their own choices and opinions
- I can acknowledge their voice and not attack
- Listen only respect pause respond
- I want to peacefully but curiously dive deeper into their perspective Because this new view is something worth learning from
- Don’t criticize them
- Respect them and support them
- By not interrupting being rude
- Understand where they are coming from
- Keep a cool head and hear them out
- By not complaining about how their opinion is “wrong”
- Acknowledge what they are saying buy repeating it so they know I am hearing and understand them
- I can take in their opinion and just respect it
- Take into account that each individual has different perspective based on their own life experiences
- I personally enjoy debating but if they don’t like that I avoid it altogether
- Say that you respect their opinion even if you guys disagree
- I hear their opinion and accept it and don’t treat them differently
What do you wish you knew about discrimination?
Students primarily want to understand the origins and motivations behind discrimination, specifically why it remains so normalized and how it first started. They are also seeking actionable skills, such as how to recognize their own unconscious biases and the most effective ways to intervene and stop discriminatory behavior respectfully.
- How many people it affects
- Why people feel so strongly about it
- How this could affect people who hate being accused
- I wish that people love each othe the way they look
- More about the line between playful joking and genuine disrespect
- Why is it so hard to stop
- Why does it start?
- I wish I knew how to stop it
- What causes it
- How I as an individual can recognize discrimination towards others better
- I wish I knew why it became a thing people tend to use so commonly/naturally its extremely normalized
- I wish I knew more about its nuances I feel like often people choose to stay quiet because they don’t want to Risk hurting anyone
- How to stop it
- It involves every one
- What was the cause and why
- I wish I knew what I don’t know
- The reason for it
- That it can’t happen to literally anyone especially someone who’s in the same category as you
- Why people do it
- I know everything
- I know everything
- Educated people who discriminate against people
- I wish I knew how it feels
- Why do often those who act that way think it’s ok to treat someone like that
- How to better intervene
- How to more effectively intervene
- It is still thriving and is not resolved in modern society
- Why is it even a thing?
- I wish I knew when I was unconsciously doing it and when others people didn’t now what they were
Doing or when it was intentional
- Why is it so prevalent?
- How to stop it
- Understanding their situation
- How to prevent it
- How to prevent it
- What it’s like?
- I wish I knew how to stop it respectfully
- Why do people feel so strongly about something that doesn’t affect them?
- Why does it even exist?
- How many people it impacts
- How many people are impacted and how often are they impacted?
- Other people personal experiences
- How di discrimination start?
- Why they have those opinions
- Why there is so much of it
- How to stop it
- How bad it effects people
- How many people it impacts
- How to stop it
- Why people are see on it
- I wish I knew how to fix it. I don’t even know where it’s happening at West and from my experience watching And reading about it is seems hard to fix but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying I won’t stop fighting for justice
- What people think while discriminating
- How people are truly affected
- What race is the most discriminated
- Why does it happen
- I don’t know
- Why it happens
- The reasoning behind each discrimination thought and actions
- Why? Why do we push our negative ideas to others
- How other groups want to solve the problem
- Why it started
- How it comes in many hard to notice smaller forms
- How to stop it
What are some effective ways to communicate with someone you disagree with?
Students emphasize using calm, professional communication and “I feel” statements to express disagreements without causing conflict. They suggest that the most effective approach involves active listening and mirroring—repeating back what someone said so they feel heard—while establishing clear boundaries to ensure the conversation remains a learning experience rather than a “win-lose” debate.
- To give each other a chance to speak and hear out their point of view
- Communicating with someone I disagree with is easy talk to them professionally friendly but not to friendly
- Just share what made you have a difficult opinion and just create a bond off of it
- Tell them you respect their opinions
- Say hi to them
- Don’t interrupt
- By keeping calm and being kind even when you disagree
- Use polite language being able to communicate your point with out causing conflict
- Listen to their opinion
- Stay silent or not be rude when trying to correct them
- By calmly explaining how you don’t agree but how you’d love to discuss their opinion
- Being respectful and considerate using words like I disagree because, I can see your perspective, etc
- I tend to use “I feel” statements when communicating with someone one-on-one I try to back things up with evidence when it comes to larger issues
- Show respect
- Try to empathize with them
- Politely express your argument
- To tell them you disagree without contempt
- Just treat then like a person
- Talk to them with formality and be straight up with them
- Listen to what they are saying ask questions
- Agree to disagree
- Say agree to disagree
- Release my own opinion and listen to there’s
- Voice your opinion humbly and make sure that they understand why you disagree calmly
- Some effective ways are being respectful and expressing your opinions with reason. Not pointing fingers or keeping quiet to yourself
- To try to not get mad when something does not go your way
- With a mediator in a neutral space determine boundaries
- Respect their opinion and don’t put them down for their opinion
- Don’t yell at them talk in person never on social media
- Set boundaries about what you are ok talking about and not deciding on what you are disagree on before you talk agree to respect each other
- Respect their opinion but either finish the conversation is come to an agreement
- Talk to give each other time keep a level head
- Telling them you want to understand
- Let them talk about there opinion without interrupting then you talk
- Keep calm and respectful even if you don’t respect their opinion step away if you have to
- With empathic mindset
- I can acknowledge their opinion and they know mine and their perspective
- Don’t agree with them and try to find a middle ground
- Being kind respectful and standing your ground
- I can listen to them and their opinion and then politely tell them mine
- Polite statements I disagree I like the way you mention this but
- List points and hear their’s
- Be very understanding ask them how they would feel in some situation add examples
- Let both of you talk when they feel as their opinion is heard they fell mor comfortable
- Talk in a calm voice
- To engage based on facts and to use respectful language
- Be respectful and explain why you think that
- Knowing their point and talking to them about it understanding is part of it
- Finding common ground
- Reflect then respond
- The most important thing is to listen and to accept the most likely both of us are correct in some way. But remember that a debate isn’t about offense and defense it’s about building about learning new things
- Find something in common
- Talking clearly and concise about disagreement
- Talk it out
- Be actually listening
- Talk it out
- I think being respectful and openminded are most effective
- Repeat what they are saying so they feel heard
- I prefer not to but I just don’t talk to them about it
- I get your point but I see it as…..
- Treat with respect and respectful present your side
- To not cut people off beyond that disagreement and approach them while taking into account they have their own perspective
How do you make friends?
Students primarily make friends through direct communication and engagement, as well as capitalizing on shared environments and interests.
- I talk to new people who I think are cool and nice people.
- I make friends by connecting what we have in common or I am usually open
- Help then with something and keep thinking
- I talk to people in my classes, extra-curricular and talk to my friends fiends
- By Talking
- I make friends by simply just talking to people around me usually at events, in class extra-curricular, etc
- By interjecting with others
- Talk and Relate
- By sitting with new people and attempting to talk to people to people in class that I haven’t don’t talk to
- I tend to reach out talk to others find their interests and connect
- In terms of approaching people I seek out those who I feel I have something in common with. When I am approached I try to nod along and reciprocate
- Shared Interest
- Talk to random people
- By Talking and communicating
- I make them through classes and clubs
- Talking to them and see how it works out
- I tend to make friends with people that I already know and have friends that I like to befriend you know or sometimes I straight up begin to talk to them
- Talking to them getting to know others
- Talk to new people
- I talk to them
- How I make friends is just complement there looks. Or I just wait for people to talk to me and asking people questions
- I ask about their interests and then try to make jokes
- The way that I make friends is really easy as I just talk to anyone who seems nice.
- The most common way I do is during classes
- Through friends and they will come up to me
- Through friends out
- Repetitive social interaction with a person helps me connect to them If no we get along it’s just a natural
- I join groups and just wait some time to see if I feel comfortable around them
- Usually it is because I am doing all activity or just frequently go some where and other people there I meet one nice. I talk to them and eventually we hang out outside of that place
- I usually just talk I’m a very extroverted person in the right environment
- Talking to one person then talking to friends
- I try to find something in common and try to make them laugh
- Talk interact get to know them
- Mutual interest and classes
- By meeting new people and making connections
- Introducing myself and being friendly
- I just talk to people and find similarities
- I usually make friends when they come up to me
- Talking to people in classes or other social events
- Starting a conversation with people and asking to hang out
- Finding common interests and finding great things in others
- I make conversation off of something related to what we are doing
- By talking to people in similar groups ie at One Table I will talk to people
- Talking to people or through other friends
- Commonalities in friendliness
- We just click
- Conversations and being nice to others
- Doing a common activity
- Humor and welcome most times start off with a fun joke or activity. Other times I end up stepping out of my comfort zone and talk to welcoming people I don’t know random act of kindness
- I make friends by spending my positive energy I open myself to love and to form new connections
- I usually just talk to people and ask questions give compliments
- Talking to classmates
- I talk to people to make connections
- I talk to people that I only know slightly
- I find common interests
- I just talk and find common interests
- Ask people what their interest are then we will be friends
- I meet them through my other friends
- I talk to them, usually asking questions to find similarities ex. do you understand this math problem
- I approach people I find interesting and try to be friends if I respect them
- Look for the good in every individual
- I just wait for people to talk to me and then I answer
- I join in on other peoples conversations with jokes
- I talk and engage with others regularly and find common interest
Post Dinner Survey
What did you learn about discrimination that would help you build bridges with others?
The students view discrimination as a systemic barrier fueled by a lack of knowledge and a desire for comfort, but they remain optimistic that deliberate inclusion and mutual education can dismantle these barriers.
- Discrimination is a barrier to mutual understanding and tears it down.
- No one is free from the effects of discrimination.
- Discrimination can happen even when we don’t notice—it doesn’t have to be deliberate hate; it can just be hesitance to engage or interact with others.
- It is overly normalized everywhere.
- It was nice to actually talk about discrimination (I hadn’t really done so before).
- A lot of people follow the trend of staying with people they’re familiar with because they don’t know how others are.
- Discrimination mostly comes from fear or lack of knowledge; the way to build bridges is to be open-minded and willing to learn each other’s history and culture.
- Sometimes discrimination is a way of seeking protection and safety—people want to stay inside a safe circle of familiar people.
- People are quick to judge without knowing the actual situation; prejudice blinds us from seeing the good in others.
- We need to initiate a positive movement.
- It’s important to make sure people feel included, but self-segregation (forming groups based on race) happens and needs to be addressed.
- Personality plays a big role in feeling isolated because of identity—shy people find it easier to feel isolated.
- Everyone experiences the same thing in different ways (“different fonts”).
- Everyone has dealt with discrimination or some form of bullying.
- Discrimination looks different for each person depending on race, upbringing, beliefs, etc.
What changes can be implemented in your school community to find common ground with people?
Students propose fostering unity through structured social events and assigned seating to break down social silos. They also call for active accountability by speaking up against discriminatory jokes and creating more spaces for open dialogue.
- Lobby for increased opportunities for dialogue in the school community.
- Work to remove social boundaries that prevent students from connecting.
- Do more communal activities and school-wide events.
- Be not afraid to stand up for anything.
- More clubs and events where people come together to talk about these issues.
- Speak up about discriminatory behaviors.
- More events like “Celebration of Us” to see each other’s cultures, learn, and appreciate them.
- Create a new club where everyone shares their own stories to see the truth in each other.
- Host more social gatherings like these to help people find comfortable connections.
- Make more community-building activities.
- Smaller events where people are strongly encouraged (or forced) to interact with those different from them—like One Table.
- Encourage interaction outside normal schedules.
- West is good at diversity but could do better at calling out bad jokes.
- More socialization with people.
- Assigned seats at lunch.
- Be able to control emotions between people.
What can you do to create a more inclusive environment in your school?
Students advocate for proactive personal outreach and the use of guided conversation tools to intentionally bridge gaps between different friend groups. They emphasize that individual efforts to listen, invite others in, and ensure broader representation are key to fostering a more inclusive community.
- For people to be more open
- Just continuing being kind and try to branch out further away than my current friends
- Be kind, accepting and welcoming
- Educate myself more on other group’s struggles and learn my own prejudice
- Make sure people feel comfortable about talking to me about issues they have
- Support our diverse clubs & communities
- Advocate for others more
- Inclusion
- Clubs
- Reach out to people who I may not have the opportunity to
- I can meet new people ask questions and Include
- Connect with new people
- By reaching out to everyone, even if they don’t want to
- I really don’t know
- Just be kind
- To shine my own light in the darkness
- Love!
- Talk to everyone be a light to everyone around me
- Talk to new people everyday
Program Responses
Read what facilitators, guests, and other community members are saying about One Table Together.
Your One Table Together extravaganza was just that…a stimulating, interesting evening. You had all the bases covered…bright students, dynamic speakers, cultural experiences including international food dishes prepared by the school culinary students. Thought provoking conversation from students and facilitators.
Your preparation to create such a successful event is mind blowing. You have the promise of my continued support and appreciation.
I am sending this message regarding the West High One Table Together dinner. It was a huge success from the experience at our table where the students candidly responded to the prompts and gave insight into their lives as West High students. Their responses were mostly positive in their feelings of acceptance in a school with the highest percentage of minority students. The common thread was their involvement in school sports and clubs that helped them feel they belonged and enhanced their academic and extracurricular lives.
Looking forward to participating again.
Read More Responses
I am sorry I didn’t have the opportunity to meet you in person Tuesday night. I appreciated being included in this wonderful event. I enjoyed learning more about One Table and the impact you’re making in the schools and community. The students at my table were incredible! I look forward to seeing the video!
It was a wonderful event to be able to connect to the students and participants of this event. Thank you for all your hard work in making this a successful event.
To the One Table Together Organizers:
The One Table Together event at West High was highly successful. The students at my table were deeply engaged throughout the evening, responding to questions with eagerness and remarkable honesty. Our group included students from diverse backgrounds, including Mexico, Samoa, and Myanmar, among others.
When discussing whether they felt accepted at school, the common theme among the students was the positive impact of sports. Most students shared that they became friends through their involvement in the school soccer team, other sports, or various clubs. These extracurricular activities played a crucial role in helping them feel included and supported within the West High community.
The speakers, along with other individuals who participated in the program, were truly
outstanding and added immense value to the overall experience.
Thank you for letting me be part of this wonderful organization.
Thank you so much for allowing me to be a facilitator at the One Table Together at West! I had a WONDERFUL time! I had the privilege of sitting with Danene Hardy from Nicholas and Maysa Kergaye, another facilitator. We had a fabulous discussion. It was truly a joy to see three of our students, who were rather shy at the start of the evening, warm up and light up. By the end of the evening, they were all confident and interactive sharing interesting things about themselves and offering important insights about the culture at West, so much so that I pointed it out!
The food was delicious and, as intended, a comfortable way to ease into conversation with our tablemates - as we passed and held the platters for one other; as we talked about the new foods we were trying (and whether or not we liked them); as we observed the professionalism of the student servers; among other things. I really enjoyed the welcoming music, and everyone was riveted by the provenance of the musician's flute. The Calvary Baptist gospel choir was an electric and motivating way to bridge the end the evening to the work to be done at our schools.
Liz Paige of Jewish Federation, Chief Darren Parry and District Attorney Sim Gill did a great job speaking! I always love hearing Liz - what she says and how she says it always invites us warmly into the work. Chief Parry is a person dedicated to service. His incredible message was so meaningful that I will always carry it with me.
Your speech was simply powerful. I really admire you. I was blown away by your courage in sharing a time when you were confronted with a bias you held, recognized that you needed to examine it, took the time to reflect, and then overcame the bias enough to offer someone an opportunity to work and collaborate. The example you outlined was striking in that it was real - not theoretical or vague - and personal. So, thank you! Additionally, you clearly identified that the culture in schools can be improved. That is nothing but true and should not alienate anyone.
Having said all of this, I loved everything about the evening. All our students were delightful and enjoyed being there. A couple of them expressed that they wished a friend who was supposed to have come would have been there that night. Having said all of this, I loved everything about the evening.
Thank you so much for your generosity and for the support you continue to give our students. The $1,500 in donations, the turkeys, canned goods, and the 40 Walmart gift cards will make a real difference for our families this Thanksgiving. I’m grateful for your partnership with Wendy and for everything you do through One Table Together. Your kindness is truly appreciated. Wishing you both a very Happy Thanksgiving.
